Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
