That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
