There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
