hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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