I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
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