Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Randomize
