saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Randomize
