I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
