can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
