No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
