The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
