O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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