it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
