he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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