i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
