i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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