that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
