i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
