Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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