you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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