Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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