she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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