so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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