yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
it's not cheating when I paid for it
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize