fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
