He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
