Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
