Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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