I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
