Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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