sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
