yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
