Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm in love

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(484): I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue (484): I'm in love http://tfl.nu/im8q

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry

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(609): I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry http://tfl.nu/vmjm

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(630): View more from Illinois

i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head

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(630): i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head http://tfl.nu/n75x

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(708): View more from Illinois

so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.

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(708): so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me. http://tfl.nu/mwnt

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(406): View more from Montana

I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.

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(406): I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing. http://tfl.nu/w8ww

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(303): View more from Colorado

Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going

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(303): Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going http://tfl.nu/w65t

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.

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(651): I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister. http://tfl.nu/ezh5

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(847): View more from Illinois

You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head

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(847): You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head http://tfl.nu/hdz6

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(785): View more from Kansas

I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.

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(785): I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers. http://tfl.nu/hlo3

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag

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(902): Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag http://tfl.nu/er8z

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.

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(405): All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before. http://tfl.nu/9m83

Replies (9) Good night (466) Bad night (1250)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.

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(774): Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider. http://tfl.nu/cq9b

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(248): View more from Michigan

So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"

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(248): So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal" http://tfl.nu/879f

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in

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(724): Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in http://tfl.nu/7o0k

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(315): View more from New York

WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.

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(315): WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF. http://tfl.nu/3w9f

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