That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person