i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
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My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome