oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
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Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I just gargled with NyQuil