it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
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After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
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Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION