this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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