i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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