there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
