I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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