You really coming over, don't trick.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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