Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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