As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
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That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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