she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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