Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
