I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
