At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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