Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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