he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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