Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
