how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
