I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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