Duck Duck Cougar?
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
