Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
