O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
