if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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