Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
