my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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