Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
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