Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Randomize
