Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
