I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
