i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
