That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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