actually, I'm a sock model
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
