On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
